


set me free (but please don't bite)

by nikneedsalife



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Development, F/F, but it's better if you aren't alone, canon character death, character study: acxa, character study: ezor, fighting in space isn't easy, unnamed character death, who knew space gays could be so dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 22:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikneedsalife/pseuds/nikneedsalife
Summary: Acxa is a dangerous person with big emotions. She can’t afford to let others see.





	set me free (but please don't bite)

**Author's Note:**

> **_please_ check the tags for trigger warnings**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> there is an important lack of w|w relationships in voltron, so I have taken it upon myself to write something. also, i love the generals. 
> 
> unbeta'ed. title from [BITE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLuWMOF6vOU)\- Troye Sivan

  Acxa has a careful poker face that could bring lesser aliens to their knees.

* * *

    _"What are you doing?” The Galra soldier next to her yells, panicked. Acxa does her best not to flinch and let the icy gun in her hand tremble. Show no weakness. Survive the hard-knock universe, survive the Galra training. Even if that means killing the alien woman at her feet, halfway to death already. It’s a small mercy._

_“What has to be done.” Acxa pulls the trigger. She doesn’t close her eyes._

_The Galra soldier screams._

* * *

  In the universe they fight in, this is an advantage. Whether it was second in command to Lotor and she was deathly afraid of the death he was leading them into, or the gut-wrenching grief at the gaping hole of silence from silent Narti and the pure _betrayal_ wracking through their tight-knit team.The controlled calm she has to keep now that Lotor is off gallivanting with the paladins of Voltron, and Ezor and Zethrid– irresponsible, spontaneous– depend on her to stay alive in the tight grasp of Haggar.

* * *

_“What are you doing?” Acxa whispers, voice simmering in careful anger. They’re in the private rooms of whatever ship Haggar has them shuffled away in, cleaning up and resting. For Zethrid, this means hogging the bathroom for an hour._

   _Ezor’s eyes blaze with silent mirth. “Having fun.”_

_“If Haggar finds out that you joked about betraying her, don’t think she won’t kill you. She will,” Acxa warns sharply._

_Ezor shakes off Acxa’s tight grip and reaches for the snacks. “Don’t be such a sourpuss.”_

_“I’m trying to keep you alive.”_

_“Is this really living? Under the thumb of a mad seer lady?”_

_Acxa takes a deep breath. “Ezor–”_

_“No.” There’s an uncharacteristic seriousness in Ezor’s eyes that hits Acxa down to her bones. “This is how I keep going, after everything. I won’t let you_ or _Haggar change that.”_

_“I’m trying to keep us together. That’s the only way we’ll survive.”_

_“It’s too late for that already,” Ezor says. “Now, cookie?”_

* * *

    Acxa is a dangerous person with big emotions. She can’t afford to let others see.

* * *

_“What are you doing?” Acxa chokes out, to no one in particular, except maybe the hard wall she collides with and slides down. The floor swims at her feet._

_Survival, survival, it’s been drilled into her since she was young. Being Lotor’s general_ _was_ survival _. Now Narti’s dead at Lotor’s hand, and that’s gone. The only person Acxa thought she could trust blindly, she can’t trust him anymore. Every part of her wants to follow Lotor, wants to keep things the way they were. But the way things were changed the moment Narti’s body hit the ground with a sickening thud. Now loyalty and survival, once synonymous, are a battle._

_Acxa has to stay calm. It’s been a while since she’s had to fight like this, lost without direction. And now– now she has Ezor and Zethrid to think about. To keep alive. To lead. The fear of more loss, of dying, of failing, it bubbles up in her throat._

_Acxa swallows it down like she always does and gets up. Show no weakness._

* * *

  But sometimes, when Ezor smiles that sly smile at her that Acxa knows down to her bones, or twists her torso into a vicious thigh grab that brings down opponents with the strength of a hundred men and makes Acxa’s mouth go dryer than the Balmeran desert, or simply slides and leans into her in a warm gesture of unusual reassurance for iron-strong individuals like them; Acxa wishes Ezor would just _see_ how hopelessly, hopelessly gone she is for her.

* * *

   _“What are you doing?” Acxa’s voice is even. Perfectly even, because it’s a skill Acxa has trained hard to acquire, much like everything else._

_Ezor snuggles further into her side, pats her clenched fist. “You looked like you needed it, weirdo. We’ll be fine.”_

_“Lotor’s gone. We betrayed him.” From the corner of their room, Zethrid looks back from the punching bag she’s been frantically channeling her emotions into._

_“Lotor isn’t everything,” Ezor sighs. Zethrid goes back to landing vicious blows, the rhythmic thumps echoing. She hasn’t said a word._

_“How can you–” Acxa almost chokes out the words, emotion finally escaping the facade._

_“Narti.” The name sends a hurricane of grief through Acxa._

_“We could’ve–”_

_“You did what had to be done.”_

_Acxa returns the strangely comforting hug and tries not to make it seem like she craves it._

* * *

  Ezor doesn't listen to her while listening all the same. Bright, bubbly, with that sharp edge of evil mischief that Acxa craves. Ezor is cut-throat, produces as much energy as Quintessence, and waves around the emotions on her sleeve like they’re pretty jewelry. Ezor, who was the first to decide she would be loyal to the other generals until her death and never hid it; Ezor, who helps Acxa control Zethrid when she struggles; Ezor, the soothing hand on her shoulder when the facade cracks. Ezor, who plays mean pranks, fights like it’s all just a giant game, and makes her unbearably... something. Unbearably happy. Like her chest splits apart every time they touch, the heat smoldering through her stomach when she smiles, just for Acxa.

* * *

   _“What are you doing?” Ezor whispers into the dark between them._

_“I don’t know,” Acxa replies as she lies down, because she doesn’t._

_“You know this is_ my _bed, right?”_

_“I know.” Even though Acxa can’t see Ezor’s sharp blue eyes, she knows the playful curiosity in them. She also knows this is the first time Ezor’s ever been speechless. “I–I’m just… I–”_

_“Oh, come over here,” Ezor says. Her strong fingers wrap around Acxa’s arms like vices, pulling Acxa towards her. Acxa lets out a breath she hadn’t know she was holding._

_Normally when Ezor holds her, there is unyielding armor between them. Without it, Ezor is soft, comfortable in a way Acxa has never felt before. The skin of her shoulder, pressed to Acxa’s face, is warm– but also intensely vulnerable. A vulnerability that seems impossible for the life they live. Acxa shuffles even closer, and Ezor’s arm wraps around her back as if she’s protecting her from something. She can feel the smirk Ezor presses into her hair, then the loud snort when Acxa snuggles in._

_“Oh, shut up,” Acxa says, going for joking, because this is_ Ezor _._

_“Make me,” Ezor murmurs back, still smiling._

* * *

   Happy was never a feeling Acxa thought she was capable of.

* * *

   _Acxa kisses as if she knows what she’s doing. Ezor, however, Ezor kisses like Acxa might fall apart in her hands. In a way, Acxa supposes, she does. But Ezor also kisses her like Acxa is the most precious thing in the universe, and Acxa’s never been precious before. She fights not to like it._

* * *

   They’re soldiers, generals, warriors. Emotional attachment is a weakness to exploit in others, not something to feel. Loyalty on the battlefield stems from survival, debts to your enemies are to be repaid and revenge is an eye for an eye. But Ezor, and Zethrid, and even– no, the fourth general belongs to the past–, will save her life again and again and never demand more than the same dedication to their survival she’s always had. And Acxa finds herself taking projectiles and catching blows for them, yet never feeling like it means anything more than saving _herself_. Because she’d be lost without them. Acxa was surviving the universe for so long, alone. Ezor and Zethrid make her feel like she might not have to be.

* * *

 _“What are you doing?” Ezor yells next to her, panicked. The gun in Acxa’s hands trembles like an earthquake._ Show no weakness, _Acxa repeats to herself._

_She can’t. After all these years, she can’t. Not when Ezor is looking at her like that, as she’s about to– once again, like so many years ago– kill someone who will soon die of her injuries. A mercy kill. Because this woman shares Narti’s face, only dark green instead of purple._

_Acxa lowers the gun. Her voice trembles, and she lets it; “She’ll die anyway.”_

_Zethrid, hulking figure hunched, dwarfs Acxa’s free hand when she grabs it. Ezor shuffles over and grabs the other, pointing it back up. Ezor folds her finger over Acxa’s on the trigger._

_Acxa closes her eyes. She lets herself slump in defeat. She lets herself be weak._

_They take the shot together. No one screams._

_"We did what had to be done.”_

_Acxa lets herself be held._

 


End file.
